There’s nothing wrong with wanting a younger men!
Sometimes people judge men because they desire to date younger man. There are even websites like Meet Filipinos which are for mature men seeking relationships with younger Filipinos. The reality is many of those gay men judging secretly want a young man themselves. Man no matter what sexual orientation was biologically programmed to seek youth and signs of vitality among other things Read more. If someone 20 years younger than you is what makes you tick then as long as he’s legal go for it! We all have our dating preferences whether it be ethnicity, weight, height, or anything else. Its better to be honest than to try to force yourself to be in a relationship with someone you’re not happy with.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting economic security!
Resources have been a factor when choosing a partner since the beginning of time. Men tend to look for signs of vitality and good health i.e. youth. Women tend to look for signs of security and resources i.e. money. Men want a woman that can give him good healthy progeny while women want a man that will stick around and provide security for her offspring. The gay world isn’t much different. A lot of older men look to younger men for sexual attractiveness and younger men are looking to older men for economic security. You can also read our article on how to prevent being scammed. Don’t Be a Victim!
1.Understand that you are both equals
Sometimes gay men tend to look at intergenerational relationships as unequal. You think because you pay the bills that he has to do whatever you say? Think again. He’s a human being that deserves to be treated with respect. If you don’t respect him he’ll leave you for someone that will. You think because you are young and thin and constantly have older men flirting with you that you’re doing him a favor? Maybe you think “man he doesn’t know how lucky he is having me!” If that’s the case then your partner is the most unlucky person in the world to have a guy like you. Relationships are not favors no more than they are just about sex. Never be with someone that thinks he’s doing you a favor by being with you. That sounds basic but many gay men have been socialized to believe that that’s all they’re worth. You are both equals.
2.Talk about it!
Accept that in an intergenerational relationship the expenses won’t be split 50/50 . Not because he doesn’t want to but because he can’t. Realize that just because you might be paying more often than not it doesn’t mean he’s using you. If you’re unsure just take a step back and look. Is he opening his wallet when he’s with his friends while claiming to be broke with you? When you’re the one always paying resentment can be a natural reaction. If you feel the resentment beginning to fester talk to him about it. Let him know you understand he may not have much money but you’d appreciate something small like a card, a rose, or even some candy every once in awhile. It’s always the little things that count. Which brings me to my next point if you’re the one with lower finances there are some things you can do to make your partner not feel used. 1. Don’t suggest activities and then expect him to pay. 2. Do little things. He knew coming in that you didn’t have much money. Its not your money he wants he just wants to feel appreciated and to know you don’t feel entitled to his money because of your youth.
3.Embrace your differences
A personal story: in some ways my partner and I couldn’t be more different. He’s into Ms. Universe and other ‘gay’ things while I like Adult Swim and Star Trek. My partner will never enjoy and episode of Futurama nor will I ever enjoy watching a Ms. Universe pageant. We embrace those differences as should you. Understand that maybe as an mature man you’ve been at this game of life longer (hence the term mature). That doesn’t, however, entitle you to look down on him and treat him like a child. He wants a partner not a father. Conversely don’t interpret advice as him trying to be your dad rather you should interpret it as him trying to prevent you from making the same mistakes he did. Embrace that he may make silly decisions. Embrace that sometimes he may be overbearing with advice.
4.Accept the bitter with the sweet
Yes you’re going to get strange looks sometimes. Yes there will be some friends telling you you can do better or that since you’re the one always paying the tab he should be a de facto servant. These are the things that come up in an intergenational relationship. On the other hand you’ll get a mature man who is secure and has your back when something happens. You’ll get a man that understands a relationship is more than sex. Most importantly you’ll get a man that is actually serious about wanting a relationship in the first place!
Relationships take effort. Inter generational relationships take more even effort. If you’re in it for more than just a young piece of ass or a sugar daddy realize that you both will need to put a lot of effort to make it work. Once you do that your relationship will be a beautiful thing.